Three Statements

I spent the last five days writing and rewriting many variations of my statement of purpose for graduate school. All I've learned, from this writing, is that my purpose is to just be there with the specifics working themselves out over several semesters. Isn't it enough that I've chosen a discipline, do I have to write eloquently on why I made the choice? If all my statements can be boiled down into one reason why, it's pretty much that I want to read a lot, and when I'm not reading, all I want to do is cut and paste. Architecture does prepare you well for real life, or first grade. Because of architecture school, I carry with me a complex working knowledge of adhesives and what they will and will not bind. More importantly, I know how to react when a glue called Zap-A-Gap gets into the gap between your eyelids. You will not go blind, as that will be your first panicked thought. And if you act quickly enough, your lashes won't suffer too much damage, even though the first warning on the label is to "keep out of eyes." From this highly complex set of skills I'll move on to landscapes, and I'm curious to see what's waiting for me learn there. It is the misfortune of having to act professional, that I can't submit this as my statement of intent. I've covered all my bases, moving from why I want to study landscapes to what I learned as an undergraduate.

The problem with the Statement of Intent is that you have to have some pretty clear and specific notions of what you want to study while in school. My problem is that I eliminated the specifics from my academic life pretty early on, and am left wanting to study everything and I'm trying to fit everything into landscape architecture. I want to study everything and wrap it all up with landscapes. I'm stuck trying to make statements that seem like I know what I want to do. I want to study history and theory, as well as, drawing from time to time, and on occasion, dig in the dirt. I'm getting my professional degree so I can pay off my student loans after I spend six hundred years getting my PhD. All so I can teach design classes, which brings us back to the cutting and pasting.

Another looming problem is that I have to submit a portfolio of my design work. This wouldn't be too bad, page-layout is a no-brainer, but unfortunately because of several years of sub-par academic performance, I am lacking in material to put in said portfolio. And now, with a week and a half left before the whole package is due, I have to, quick, finish all the projects I never did in school. I really like my ideas. There's going to be an interrogation room and a waterless water park in the portfolio, if time allows. I haven't reduced my misery to estimating how many mouse clicks I can make in a minute and then calculating how long it should take me to finish the projects, with the point being to prove that there is not enough time, but I'm almost there. Seems impossible, and that's getting me down.