Trying for a little more Follow-Through
the trouble with indoor plumbing is that you never know when it will sell-out on you. after using the restroom at work for six months, without incident, i had my day.
to start, i hate using the bathroom when there are other people in it. though, i know it might be socially unacceptable to enter the bathroom just to turn around and leave upon realizing someone else is already in a stall. and i know it's childish to wish for total privacy in the bathroom, it is, however, what i prefer. so today, i enter, the bathroom where there are three stalls with someone occupying the third stall, farthest from the door. i have two choices, use the first stall or the middle stall. etiquette says i should take the first stall, one away from the one that is occupied. i do, except when i go in i am confronted with an unflushed toilet. what now? back out and go to the middle stall? or use the biohazard that is the unflushed toilet? after spending far too long deciding, i went ahead and used the one i was already in...without flushing first.
is it weird to hear the toilet flush and then someone use it immediately following? i'm stuck peeing on someone else's pee and i'm rushing to finish before the other occupant does, to avoid an awkward meeting. needless to say, when i get to the flushing step i realize why it wasn't flushed when i entered. the lever is broken, carelessly rotating in any direction; no resistance, and no results rendered. after cursing the fool who couldn't flush before me, i am now the fool who is unable to flush. my only option is to leave it, closing the stall door behind me, because the embarrassing part is really not that the other occupant can hear the lack of a flush, it's that i've been taking vitamins and my urine is now an electric-gatorade yellow. now i'm really rushing to get out of the bathroom before the other person sees me in my filth. but, because i need the mental assurance of flushing, i feel dirty and i end up washing my hands twice when she comes out of her stall and sees me. do i mention that the first toilet is broken? "honestly, that's why i didn't flush, i'm not a disgusting, lazy slob."
now, fifth floor's bathroom is off limits for being untrustworthy. for the remainder of the day i made the trek to the sixth floor bathroom. the second time, i am met at the door by a woman who gives me the warning of, "one of the johns is going crazy." and it was, flushing itself over and over.
i also got caught looking in the mirror trying to see if my pale stomach was hanging out over the waist of my pants (large indian lunch). of course, my reaction was not to act like i was looking in the mirror, but to jerk violently toward the sink and pretend i was just heading over there to wash my hands and HAD NOT been looking at myself in the full-length mirror.
for now, i think i'll just go home when i need to use the bathroom. it's safe, it's private, and my toilet has gained my trust.
to start, i hate using the bathroom when there are other people in it. though, i know it might be socially unacceptable to enter the bathroom just to turn around and leave upon realizing someone else is already in a stall. and i know it's childish to wish for total privacy in the bathroom, it is, however, what i prefer. so today, i enter, the bathroom where there are three stalls with someone occupying the third stall, farthest from the door. i have two choices, use the first stall or the middle stall. etiquette says i should take the first stall, one away from the one that is occupied. i do, except when i go in i am confronted with an unflushed toilet. what now? back out and go to the middle stall? or use the biohazard that is the unflushed toilet? after spending far too long deciding, i went ahead and used the one i was already in...without flushing first.
is it weird to hear the toilet flush and then someone use it immediately following? i'm stuck peeing on someone else's pee and i'm rushing to finish before the other occupant does, to avoid an awkward meeting. needless to say, when i get to the flushing step i realize why it wasn't flushed when i entered. the lever is broken, carelessly rotating in any direction; no resistance, and no results rendered. after cursing the fool who couldn't flush before me, i am now the fool who is unable to flush. my only option is to leave it, closing the stall door behind me, because the embarrassing part is really not that the other occupant can hear the lack of a flush, it's that i've been taking vitamins and my urine is now an electric-gatorade yellow. now i'm really rushing to get out of the bathroom before the other person sees me in my filth. but, because i need the mental assurance of flushing, i feel dirty and i end up washing my hands twice when she comes out of her stall and sees me. do i mention that the first toilet is broken? "honestly, that's why i didn't flush, i'm not a disgusting, lazy slob."
now, fifth floor's bathroom is off limits for being untrustworthy. for the remainder of the day i made the trek to the sixth floor bathroom. the second time, i am met at the door by a woman who gives me the warning of, "one of the johns is going crazy." and it was, flushing itself over and over.
i also got caught looking in the mirror trying to see if my pale stomach was hanging out over the waist of my pants (large indian lunch). of course, my reaction was not to act like i was looking in the mirror, but to jerk violently toward the sink and pretend i was just heading over there to wash my hands and HAD NOT been looking at myself in the full-length mirror.
for now, i think i'll just go home when i need to use the bathroom. it's safe, it's private, and my toilet has gained my trust.
posted by Ellen at 1:33 PM
3 Comments:
Ellen, yuk. Always use a fresh toilet. What if it splashes up on you.
I think the proper thing to do is use the flushed toilet closer to the other bathroom user.
i personally, would flush it and then use the other one. but this makes for a much better story. ellen, i laughed out loud several times.
let's hope now that you're 26 things like that won't happen. i mean, i'm 26 and...nevermind.
i say, when a toilet is nasty, NEVER NEVER use it. i've been known to climb several floors to use toilets that work. there is one toilet on my floor that never flushes right. i've learned to avoid it like the plague, but somehow many people haven't figured it out...gross.
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