Animal Control
my collective experience of architecture school and social relationships collided to wake me up this morning at 5:30. it came in the form of the noise my mini-blinds make when disturbed, usually by the wind blowing through them. honestly, i don't know why that would wake me up and i don't know why i even questioned the noise, usually my windows are open and they rattle a lot. but this morning, in the haze of sleepiness i thought, "that's weird, only my kitchen window is open. why did my bedroom window just rattle? why did ...OHMYGODthereisaBATflyingaroundmyroom!"
A BAT. was flying. around my room. while i slept.
i can't tell you the confusion and panic you feel when you realize this. but then it disappeared over by the windows, the bookshelf, and the stacks of papers and i was left in bed deciding how, the hell, to get it out of my apartment (the question of how it got in also crossed my mind). so i got up and went into the kitchen and turned on the light, came back into the living room where the bat swooped around my head. i crawled back to the bathroom for a brief council with myself, or to pull my shit together, however you want to look at it i was freaking out. luckily, my friend sam had had a bat fly into his apartment earlier in the summer, and though his story doesn't explain how the bat got into my house, it did give me a rough outline for how to get the bat out of my house. as i exited the bathroom, i grabbed the largest cooking pot i have and started bat huntin'.
i didn't have to look for too long because the thing started swooping around in figure eights between the living room (where i was now crouching on the floor) and the bedroom. i would wave the cooking pot threateningly when it swooped too low near me while hoping it wouldn't get tangled up in either ceiling fan because what's worse, a live bat in your apartment or a dead mangled bat in your apartment? so, after a spell of figure eights it got tired and landed on a string of lights i have over the bedroom windows. gathering all the courage i could muster at 5:40 in the morning, i walked over and put the pot over the bat. that's when i realized that i had failed to plan for the actual capture. i was left standing with my arms, more or less, at head level and nothing to slide behind the pot. i scaned the floor near my feet. stack of paper, small plastic book, large piece of plexiglass! thanks architecture school! slide plexiglass between window frame and cooking pot and i might get back to bed this morning. of course, then i took pictures. and then i had to take the pot, the plexiglass, the lights, and the bat outside for its release back into the wild.
for effective bat-catching have the following on hand: one story of friend who caught a bat in his apartment, one large cooking pot, one piece of 2'x2' plexiglass, and either enough courage to confront bat or be tired enough to not realize that you have to get within a foot of the bat in your apartment.
i still haven't figured out how a bat got in to my apartment, but i'm going to be all-over that tonight when i get home. 'cause this IS NOT happening again.
bat in pot
bat catchin' essentials
A BAT. was flying. around my room. while i slept.
i can't tell you the confusion and panic you feel when you realize this. but then it disappeared over by the windows, the bookshelf, and the stacks of papers and i was left in bed deciding how, the hell, to get it out of my apartment (the question of how it got in also crossed my mind). so i got up and went into the kitchen and turned on the light, came back into the living room where the bat swooped around my head. i crawled back to the bathroom for a brief council with myself, or to pull my shit together, however you want to look at it i was freaking out. luckily, my friend sam had had a bat fly into his apartment earlier in the summer, and though his story doesn't explain how the bat got into my house, it did give me a rough outline for how to get the bat out of my house. as i exited the bathroom, i grabbed the largest cooking pot i have and started bat huntin'.
i didn't have to look for too long because the thing started swooping around in figure eights between the living room (where i was now crouching on the floor) and the bedroom. i would wave the cooking pot threateningly when it swooped too low near me while hoping it wouldn't get tangled up in either ceiling fan because what's worse, a live bat in your apartment or a dead mangled bat in your apartment? so, after a spell of figure eights it got tired and landed on a string of lights i have over the bedroom windows. gathering all the courage i could muster at 5:40 in the morning, i walked over and put the pot over the bat. that's when i realized that i had failed to plan for the actual capture. i was left standing with my arms, more or less, at head level and nothing to slide behind the pot. i scaned the floor near my feet. stack of paper, small plastic book, large piece of plexiglass! thanks architecture school! slide plexiglass between window frame and cooking pot and i might get back to bed this morning. of course, then i took pictures. and then i had to take the pot, the plexiglass, the lights, and the bat outside for its release back into the wild.
for effective bat-catching have the following on hand: one story of friend who caught a bat in his apartment, one large cooking pot, one piece of 2'x2' plexiglass, and either enough courage to confront bat or be tired enough to not realize that you have to get within a foot of the bat in your apartment.
i still haven't figured out how a bat got in to my apartment, but i'm going to be all-over that tonight when i get home. 'cause this IS NOT happening again.
bat in pot
bat catchin' essentials
posted by Ellen at 3:46 AM
4 Comments:
(hi ellen. i told you i was a surreptitious fan of your blog.) years ago my mom came out into the living room in the early morning to stoke the fire and found a bat hanging from an appendage of the stove. i'm not sure we handled with as much sang-froid as you. i know there was no plexi-glass involved.
i haven't laughed so hard since i read rachel's account of the Nut Butter Commune Plan. i have tears in my eyes. i have a vivid mental picture of you crawling around with your Bat Catchin' Essentials.
I once got rid of a bird by chasing it, towel in hand, around the house until it dropped and could be moved outside. Opposable thumbs and large mammalian brain once again win the day!
rachel! thanks for being a surreptitious fan of my blog i've been lurking around yours too. i can't wait to hear the purple muscle car story, leers included.
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